Reducing Me To Cinders With Just One Look
by a mountain of gideon's scones
Summary: Oliver agonises about whether or not to go to Morganville and be with his love, Amelie. *She invokes such feelings in me, just thinking about her makes me want to go to her.* Please R&R! Written for FireFrenzy596!


_I promised FireFrenzy596 an Amelie/Oliver oneshot and instead she's getting a full fanfic! So here is the oneshot, better late than never! Well, it's __**sorta**__ Amelie/Oliver…_

_I own nothing…_

_Set before Oliver comes to Morganville._

_Btw, the italicised parts further down is Oliver's inner voice – to avoid confusion, I am telling you now!_

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_**Oliver's POV:**_

She has always had a power over me. It's indescribable, how she has the power to be able to reduce me to cinders with just one look. It may have been almost two hundred years since her grey eyes pierced my face, yet I remember the last time as if it were only yesterday. She invokes such feelings in me, just thinking about her makes me want to go to her. Imagining her touching my face as she did once is almost enough to make me give up my freedom and succumb to her rules in Morganville.

Almost.

I haven't seen Amelie since the early 1820's, when I made the mistake of trying to steal her power, to try and make her belong to _me_. That power attempt failed, the first loss I ever faced, and it left me humiliated. I hid the humiliation of being beaten by the woman I love by pretending to simply have anger. So I left her feeling the same thing as me and I ran for my life. I hid in dark corners in England, waiting for her to set sail to the new lands and prospects America brought to us.

Finally, she did so and I was able to come out of skulking in the sewers. I was able to make something of myself without the fear that she could come and kill me for betraying her. I was free.

Yet, at the same time, I was more trapped than ever. Locked up with the chains pertaining to the love I had for Amelie meant that I was forever thinking about her. Forever, constantly, always… she was always on my mind. Every day I relived those fateful moments where, instead of confessing my love which I should have done, I tried to steal her power unsuccessfully. I lost her forever in that one fateful move. It gave me everything I ever wanted, in a sense: freedom from Amelie's close control, the removal of Myrnin, the chance to have England for myself. However, it brought about the most pain I have ever felt. Unfortunately, this pain doesn't appear to have weakened over time – it has made me realise just how big a whole there is in my life that Amelie fills perfectly. She may not realise it, she may never have realised it, but it is the truth. The truth that when I saw her, she brought about the strongest emotions I have ever felt – even more than the hatred I have for certain individuals.

The last two hundred years have been waste, in my opinion. The last two centuries I have spent wandering, never able to settle. Even after she left England, I couldn't make it. Within months I was on the move again, abandoning all riches I had collected. I couldn't stop thinking about her – I went everywhere where we had been together, trying desperately to cling onto her. I thought about her every moment of every day, wanting only to have her alive in my memories, my heart. I tried to remember her scent perfectly, finding that it worked so much better when I inhaled silk – her favourite material for dresses. I also found that remembering her angry worked even better – I can still see every ounce of fury on her face, etched into all of her features.

I need her everyday – I need her to be by my side, to at least _see_ me. Yet that would mean abandoning my principles and going to Morganville.

Would it be worth it?

Some days, I would say no. some days I would say that moving all around America is the best thing for me – being nomadic, having fun, not having to follow any rules besides the ones _I_ make – but then… then there are the other days. The days like today. The days that seem to make up the majority of my life now – I know what I want. I need her. She is the one I need now.

Yet I _need_ to go to Morganville.

Not for Amelie.

_Yeah right_.

No, I truly am **not** going for Amelie.

_Liar_.

There is a book. There is a book that I saw Amelie steal from her Father when she rolled him into his grave, after killing him. I saw her. She tried to deny it, but I can still remember just how she slipped it into her pocket as so that I wouldn't see. It didn't work: for years I have been fascinated by getting this book. She is the only vampire in the world now that knows how to make new vampires – Bishop saw to that. _That_ is what, **if** I go to Morganville, I am going for. **NOT** Amelie.

_Liar, liar, pants on fire. You love her… remember? Remember __**every**__ night as you thought about her? Remember how you moved all around the country, trying to be as close to her as possible without actually succumbing and joining Morganville. Here you stand, on the outskirts of Morganville because you want __**Amelie**__. The one you have yearned for, for years. Don't lie and say you are here for the book._

_Thank_ you for that, my inner voice. Perhaps there is some truth in there, however. Perhaps there is a lot more truth in the fact that I am here, standing mere metres from Morganville, for _Amelie_ rather than the book.

What do I do? Do I abandon all of my principles and run the risk of death (given she said that she wasn't going to forgive me for entire eternity) from Amelie? Or do I get away now and continue to live my life free? Decisions, decisions… I cannot decide whether or not to honour my soul and heart, or my head.

I know what I have to do. I know that this is the only decision I **have** to make in my life from now on – this could be the turning point I have always wanted. It could also be the end of my life… yet isn't it better to take a chance, rather than always live with the idea of what _could_ have been?

Slowly, I take a step or two forwards and cross the border. Morganville, here I come…

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_So what did you think? I hope I captured the whole issue of Oliver loving Amelie (yes, Oliver loves someone other than himself) well enough!_

_Please review!_

_Vicky xx_


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